How Fragile is Trust?

The battery on my phone went dead today after a flurry of calls from and about a member whose chapter asked him not to renew his membership. Two hours of this kind of drama is enough to drain any battery, including mine. Needless to say, this unhappy person could not understand how a Membership Committee would vote 3-1 against him. After all, he was a good and committed member.

Somewhere along the line this good and committed member did something to fall out of favor with the people on his Membership Committee. No one in the chapter ever filed a written complaint, but questionable behaviors accumulated in the minds of the voting members. And when he was excused for seemingly no reason, he was devastated.

At the very least, there was a huge disconnect between the member's perception of his performance and the membership committee's perception of his performance. Right or wrong, membership committees have complete autonomy to handle their respective chapter's business. We train membership committees to be open and honest about negative communications, but let's face it...those are tough conversations to have.

Why didn't the member see this coming? Because no one ever said anything directly to him about questionable behavior until his Contract for Profitability came due. It could happen to anyone....unless chapters find a way to have tough conversations proactively.

Page 34 of the Leadership Team Training Manual outlines a formula for having such conversations. Pages 31-33 describe the process by which complaints should be handled in the chapter. With these tools and your discretion, there should never be a situation where a member feels blindsided by a committee's decision.

Here is some more good advice, courtesy of author and speaker Ron White:

"In your office, organization, or circle of friends if you want to see a cancer
spread faster than almost anything... begin to speak negatively about others
when they are not around. Not only will a cancer spread in your group that will
fragment it into factions, but you will no longer be trustworthy."

Do you want to be a top notch sales professional? Attempt that without being
trusted and try to be trusted while being known as a gossip.
Do you desire to be an effective leader? Again, attempt that without being trusted. A simple way to lose trust is gossip.
Develop a reputation as someone who can be trusted not because of your loyalty to your friends, but because of your character and watch as your business skyrocket!"

Trust is a very fragile thing. If you lose it, people are not comfortable walking up to you to let you know. But the Membership Committee meets behind closed doors, where the "truth" reveals all the dark places we try to hide. Sooner or later there is a price to pay. The BNI Code of Ethics says "I will display a positive and supportive attitude with members of my chapter."

It is not a suggestion.